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DATE RAPE

My boyfriend spiked my drink and raped me after I refused to lose my virginity – I won’t let other women suffer like me

A WOMAN has revealed how her abusive ex spiked her drink and raped her after she refused to lose her virginity to him.

Social media manager Mayci Jones Neeley, from California, met her ex at a New Year's Eve party and they started a long-distance relationship.

 Macey Neeley Jones says her abusive ex spiked her drink and raped her, because she didn't want to lose her virginity
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Macey Neeley Jones says her abusive ex spiked her drink and raped her, because she didn't want to lose her virginityCredit: MDWfeatures / @maycineeley

But when they moved to the same city, Mayci's then-boyfriend started acting jealous.

According to Mayci, now 24, her boyfriend would check her phone, accuse her of cheating and pressure her into sexual acts - which were against her religious beliefs as a Mormon.

Mayci now shares her story on Instagram, to help other women, and says her first blog post led to 100 messages from other women who had been abused or rape.

She said: “Abuse in relationships is a lot more common than you think. It usually starts with little things like jealousy or the way the person talks about others.

“If you notice those things, get out. It is a lot harder to walk away months down the road.”

 She says he was physically abusive and once shoved her into a door frame, cutting her foot
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She says he was physically abusive and once shoved her into a door frame, cutting her footCredit: MDWfeatures / @maycineeley

Speaking out her abusive relationship, Mayci said: “We decided to do the long-distance thing. He would send me huge bouquets of flowers randomly for no reason, it all really seemed too good to be true and it was.

“After four months of long distance, we moved to the same city. We spent a lot of time together and I definitely noticed more acts of jealousy.

“He would try to check my Snapchat as well as my texts.

“He also started pressuring me to do sexual things with him, which I had never done before because I come from a religious background.

“I said no over and over again until he finally just forced me into it, by physically touching me.”

 Mayci is now happily married to Jacob Neeley, 23, and has a son called Jacob, four, from a previous relationship
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Mayci is now happily married to Jacob Neeley, 23, and has a son called Jacob, four, from a previous relationshipCredit: MDWfeatures / @maycineeley

As time went on, the abuse got worse and worse.

Mayci said: “He started pressuring me to drink alcohol which was against my school’s honour code policy and my religious beliefs.

“After saying no time and time again, I finally gave in to avoid being yelled at and verbally abused. That’s when our relationship took a turn for the worst.

“When he drank, he became a very mean person. He would start screaming at me out of the blue, push me into walls and choke me.

“There was one night where he shoved me into the front door cutting open my heel which bled profusely.

He took matters into his own hands one night by spiking my drink

Macey Jones Neeley 24

“After he saw that he hurt me, he started punching himself in the face over and over again to show he was ‘sorry’.

“There were many times where I had 911 dialled because I was feared for my life, but I never pushed call because I was scared to get in trouble for underage drinking.

“Another night he tried to cut his wrists in front of me. Not because he was suicidal, he didn’t cut deep, but just enough for a little dot of blood to come up.

“He did it because he knows I hate blood and needles and he basically wanted my attention and it was his form of punishing me.

“By this time we had done everything sexual besides actual sexual intercourse. I told him I was saving my virginity for marriage because that is what I wanted.

“He would always pressure me to have sex with him and I would say no which made him mad.”

 Mayci says her ex was physically, emotionally and sexually abusive
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Mayci says her ex was physically, emotionally and sexually abusiveCredit: MDWfeatures / @maycineeley

Mayci added: “Then he took matters into his own hands one night by spiking my drink. I had one drink and that’s all I really remember.

“I was also not a lightweight by any means. I could drink at least three drinks before I would feel even remotely buzzed.

“After drinking some of the drink, the last thing I remember is him on top of me and me saying ‘no I don’t want to, I don’t want to’ over and over again.

The last thing I remember is him on top of me and me saying ‘no I don’t want to, I don’t want to’ over and over again

Macey Jones Neeley24

“I was so lethargic that I could hardly keep my eyes open. Most of my memory from this night is just flashes.

“Trying to talk felt like being in a bad dream when you’re trying to scream but you have no voice. That is how out of it I was.

“The next morning, he says, ‘I can’t believe that happened last night.’ I said, ‘what happened?’ He said, ‘we had sex.’ To which I said, ‘No we didn’t.’

“Then he got super mad because I didn’t remember our first time.”

 Her relationship with Jacob has helped restore her trust in men
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Her relationship with Jacob has helped restore her trust in menCredit: MDWfeatures / @maycineeley

WHERE CAN I GET HELP?

You don't have to suffer in silence.

If you are experiencing domestic violence or someone you know is there are groups that can help.

Refuge runs a free, 24-hour helpline on 0808 2000 247.

You can also visit the website or contact Women’s Aid.

 

Mayci also says her ex tried to distance her from her friends and family, especially male friends.

If she even stood to close to another man, Mayci says she'd get called a bitch, slut or whore.

“He wanted me all for himself,” she said. “He constantly verbally, mentally and physically abused me.

“I hid all of this from my family and friends. I didn’t want them to know what was happening because I didn't want them to think I was stupid.

“I was embarrassed and he made me feel like I deserved it all.

“I felt like I had no worth anymore, and that no one would want me now, because that is what he made me believe.”

I hid all of this from my family and friends. I was embarrassed and he made me feel like I deserved it all

Macey Jones Neeley24

As she struggled to cope with the abuse, Mayci says she became angry and aggressive.

But she finally felt able to break up with her ex, and she hasn't seen him since.

Mayci went onto have her son Jacob, four, from another relationship, and marry Jacob Neeley, 23, who she met in April 2016.

She said said: “Even though I got out, I was mentally messed up from the abuse and rape that I used alcohol to kind of drown my sorrows and make me forget that it all happened.

 Mayci started speaking out about her relationship in the hope of helping other women
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Mayci started speaking out about her relationship in the hope of helping other womenCredit: MDWfeatures / @maycineeley

“The hardest part was forgiving myself. I put a lot of blame on myself for what happened and I was overall just very angry at myself.

“Accepting what happened to me and realising that I was a victim helped me recover better.

“I buried a lot of my trauma inside and never told anyone or let it out until four years later. I was still having horrible nightmares and PTSD so that's when I decided I needed to go to therapy to help me recover.

“I used alcohol as my crutch - but I did become very cautious and paranoid around men. I never got too intoxicated in fear of being sexually assaulted again.

“I am going to make sure Hudson knows what is OK and what is not OK in his future relationships.

“My partner has always supported me through my journey of healing. He is my shoulder to cry on.”